Thursday, 21 June 2012

Bugs and Shit

I spend a lot of time in my back garden. And there are LOTS of bugs in it. I love it.

Obviously, I don't quite love the idea of having bugs in my hair or up my nose. Or in my rectum. But the fact that they're the most intense creatures on earth (apart from my envy of women my age who don't have grey roots and therefore don't have to dye their hair so that people don't think they're just super-young looking 60 year olds) means that I want to get to know what they do to, you know, get by.

I should add: I spend time in my garden a lot because I smoke and I don't smoke in the house, EVER. This is probably good because there are obviously goblins in the house who have a nicotine addiction too. And I don't want them to give in to this filthy habit. So I'm actually doing a good deed by not enabling their baser desires.

I've seen a lot of cool bugs in my garden. Like a stink bug. And spiders trying to get it on (no idea as to the success rates but pretty sure they get it on). I even filmed some foreplay. Spider foreplay, not human. I'm not a deviant. You're sick.
If I knew how to post videos on here, I would. But I don't, so there.

Here's a picture of one of the stink bugs I found. I named him Buzz. Because he was totally a Space Ranger, and not at all because he was damn noisy.

So, yeah. My garden rocks. And I find cool stuff there.

No comments:

Post a Comment