So. There was a duck in my conservatory today. And I don't mean that I have a Conservatory where beautiful music is made. Because this duck was making everything BUT music to my ears.
All it did was get stuck behind a storage unit, and shit EVERYWHERE.
I'm not exactly impressed with this. And now it won't get out of my garden. I think maybe it hurt itself, and to be honest? I'm not fucking surprised.
I phoned my mum screaming about it, and she was equally appalled. And then it shit even MORE.
Anyway. Now it's out of the mess it made, and it can't even hold a fucking mop to clean up its own plops on the floor.
I'm pretty sure it knew I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder because it just kept hissing at me, and making me paranoid that it was going to attack me. Also? Pretty sure it had a switch-blade hidden in its feathers.
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