Sometime I'm going to have to somehow upload a bunch of stuff I recorded on tape. Such as me doing a dramatic reading of Little Miss Tiny (by Roger Hargreaves) and The Hobbit (the abridged book-on-tape - not the Tolkien - version). They're fucking hilarious. And that's me saying that. You can totally hear my mother getting majorly pissed off with me because, apparently, I was more concerned with reading into a microphone and not getting ready for school or something. I'm glad I'm not my own child. I would have killed me by now.
Seriously, I'm not just saying that. I was the most annoying kid ever, and I'm pretty sure I'm one of the top annoying adults in my age group. I try not to be, but anyone who's ever been near me when I'm manic will know that I'm loud, shrill and boisterous. And the only reason I say those particular words is because I can't find any words that will make it seem like I pity myself. I don't want to be that person. At least, I don't want to be that person with you guys. You're welcome.
As a first world problem, it's kind of difficult for me to sift through my memories and find the funny ones, or find things that I used to want to do. This is because there are a lot of memories I'd rather skip over, because it's much like jumping the shark. If I misstep, the bad memories will bite my ankles and drag me underwater and rip me to shreds.
Again: I don't want you guys to read about the shit that I've been through. I'd rather be someone who is happy-go-lucky and doesn't dwell on the past.
Sometimes, though? The sharks are circling really fast and thick, and those are the days that I can't get through to myself to tell that little part of me that those things are in the past and that I can get past them just by punching them on the nose.
For those of you who find they can relate, I sympathise. I hope you have someone in your life who will let you sink into your memories, but pull you to safety and remind you that you're wonderful.
I'm extremely lucky that I have such brilliant friends. I love them with all my heart and I never thought that I would have people like them in my life.
I know that the sharks may jump up to get me, but I'll always have a hand to pull me out of the water if they grab me. They have given me the strength to know that even if they aren't there, I can pull myself out by thinking of the love we have for one another.
Those sharks are bastards, but you can punch them on the fucking nose.